Women empowering women through entrepreneurship
Welcome back to another episode of the crazy mind of George and today's is going to be a doozy. So ladies strap in to listen to this one, man, get ready to be put in your place. I have two of the most powerful women that I know in the world of digital media marketing, running companies, leading from the heart. First being moms, superheroes, super women. I don't know how they do it. I'm going to humbly sit by and take a lot of lessons today, but we're going to have some awesome conversations about story relationships, community, and how to best do that. So without further ado, I would love to welcome my two friends to the show. So Melanie and April, thank you for being here.
I know we're all going to talk over each other and it's just part of the fun. I think it would happen even in person, Melanie and I have done that to each other. We just start yelling at each other. It's all love. It's all love.
It's all love. And I'm into my first cup of coffee, so my energy will get greater and greater as we go because these 3:00 AM workouts are kicking my butt. And they're good. And let it be an integrity. I wake up at three 30. I get to the gym at three 45, but it's still got a three in it. So I call it 3:00 AM.
See, as long as you guys say it counts, I'm good. I'm going to literally be teeing up conversations for me to get permission slips all day I'm like they said it was okay. They said it was okay. They said it was okay. So here's what I want to do. I love asking questions right out of the gate. And I'm going to put you both on the spot really quick and April, you're going to go first. So right before we started today, we were talking about, April, you're coming up on like your five year anniversary of like when you launched your community, when you get into this. So my question for you is looking back over the last five years or even your entire career, what is the biggest mistake you've ever made in business? And what did you learn?
April: Well, probably two things I would say in sort of mistakes. One is kind of more broad scoped and the other, one's probably a little bit more tactical. But the broad scope one is feeling, and I still make this mistake to this day. So I'm still learning after 25 years of being an entrepreneur. But I would say the biggest mistake is just trying to rush the process.
I'm a very impatient person when it comes to my own success and I get really. You know, like in a hurry, like why can't this happen? Like, go ahead and make this, you know, it's big visions, I'm a visionary. And I see these things that I know creating, and I want them to happen tomorrow. And I've been no way for 25 years, my entire career, you know, just knowing that there's a longer road in front of me, but wanting to constantly shorten the path.
And I need to remember, and hopefully this will be, you know, helpful for others. If you're feeling that way. To really just enjoy the journey. You know, I teach around storytelling and so that's kind of the beauty of storytelling is enjoying the journey. And then you have the story to tell, but if we're rushing it all the time, which I tend to do in my own life, then you miss the story.
You miss the lessons, right? So that's kind of the broad scope. One is I still to this day, catch myself doing that. And I constantly have to reign myself back in and just remind myself to enjoy the journey and pay attention to the stories, because those are the things that I need to learn so that I can go and share those with my audience.
The more tactical thing that I would say that I've really learned. And this one I'm clear on, I wish I had hired help sooner. The faster, you can get some assistance and help in your business, even if it's putting your children to work for you, you know, or your neighbor, your babysitter, which is what I, how I started.
I literally employed my babysitter first., and then just eventually have worked my way up to some employees. Now that has been crucial to free me up. To go and create and do more things actually create and do the things that I genuinely love doing and less of the things that totally bog me down. So if I could give a piece of advice to anyone, truly, no matter where you are, whether you're starting, you know, where I was five years ago, starting a brand new thing, or you've been at it for a while.
You're kind of always going to tell yourself you can't afford it, you know, but you really can't not afford it. Getting help in your business. And that could be hiring coaches and mentors, and it can also be just hiring staff for virtual assistants, whatever it may be.
George: Totally. Yeah. Well, I think, I think, and we'll unpack that a little bit more once I asked Melanie, but I think, you know, it's what you said is you can't afford not.
Not too, right? It's the, it's the trap, right? It's that stagnation that happens when we get there and by the way, for everybody listening and listen, I'm not a financial guy. I have one, but tax write offs, depending on what state you live in, you can employ your kids. I'd look it up. Google is your amazing friend. Check out those write-offs because there's nothing like putting family, child labor into a fact and teaching them lessons as we do it. Like, but it's all love. It's all love. All right, Melanie, you got the gap. You got the break, you know, what's coming. And I actually can't wait to hear yours, Melanie.
So Melanie, when you think back. And just for everybody to give a little context, I'm going to let them share their story of like, how they've got into this and where they are. But Melanie came from a soul sucking industry into a heart centered industry. And so I am sure there are some lessons that came from being an out. I was talking about her being an attorney by the way, to now being where she is now. But Melanie, I would love to hear from you. And like when you look back, like, what do you think one of your biggest mistakes was? And what lessons did you learn? What do you carry forward with it now? Yep.
Melanine: This is not going to surprise you at all George cause you know me well, but the number one thing, I think if I could change things and I do believe like everything unfolds the way it should be, but they're self limiting beliefs.
And let me just expand on that a little bit. you know, you, you grow up thinking you have of these character traits. And in fact, I was just talking to someone about this yesterday, cause I don't identify myself as a creative and she sort of stopped me in my tracks and said, Oh my God. Let me tell you 50 ways. You're creative, right? So you jump into these labels and those labels can create a lot of doubt and you start thinking, or at least for me, you start thinking I'm not good at this. I don't have a background in this. I don't have a degree in this. And what am I doing in the commerciall food industry as the former corporate and securities attorney.
I mean, there's just, there's a lot to unpack there. But those beliefs in those doubts, really, it may still do it. I have not perfected this. They get in my way. And that doubt such a killer, right? I mean, it's such a, it slows you down and mindset is everything and a business, especially as an entrepreneur, because you get tested every single day. You know, one of my mentors in this industry says working in the food business is like getting slapped in the face and then hugged every day. And you're just hoping for more hugs than slaps. And that could be, I mean, that's so true, right. But if you don't have your head on straight and if you can't like look through all those doubts and go, you know what I was the corporate securities attorney. And now I own a food company. Like if I can do this, I can do anything. And so can you and I speak to a lot of women because our customers are primarily women and, you know they really identify with that belief, that fear of, Oh, but this is what I went to school to do. And this was my path.
And you got to get out of that. And this is coming from someone who's super risk adverse, which by the way, doesn't go hand in hand with being an entrepreneur. But that's what they teach you as a lawyer is to spot risk and avoid them. So that those beliefs, you know, those doubts, those restrictions that I've put on myself, It really, it takes a lot to get there through them, but once you do, and once you build that, you have those little wins that build the confidence that you get.
I mean you can always things start snowballing as George likes to say that you get momentum and then you get that confidence and it grows, but anybody who's experiencing that self doubt or. I don't have the training that allows me to do X. I mean, I'm just a perfect example of why you should just throw that belief out the window.
George: So I and Melanie, and just for context guys Melanie and me and her husband and, and our, our families are friends. We're business partners. We know each other really well. So it's kind of really easy for me to pry the lid off of this one. And Melanie, I've had some deep, deep talks about this, cause both of us share a lot of.
Similarities when it comes to mindset, but I think what's really important, Melanie. And I just remember this distinction. You talk about that doubt in your brain and like how it's there. I think there was also a big point. You and I had a conversation where we both acknowledge and accept that it never goes away. We just become aware of it. So now I know, like, you know, we're in the middle of, you know, craziness in the world and we're doing it. And I know there's times that thing creeps in. So how do you handle it now? Like how do you become aware of it? How do you mitigate it? What do you do to put into practice or shift it the other way? Like, I was just kind of love to hear your process.
Melanie: Absolutely. And I think if you don't shift it, it is the slippery slope of just going downhill. So that doubt creeps in all the damn time. I mean, I think that any entrepreneur would tell you that, but for me, the awareness was step one. Right. And George and I, we did have really in depth comments.
I think I actually cried, which I never cry. Like but just really figuring out where some of these and unpacking where these limited limiting beliefs came from was pretty powerful for me. So you gotta do that work. I think it's not only recognizing them. It's figuring out why they're there.
For me personally, I had some, I had a lot of experiences, a kid is being picked on by other girls and bullied, and I don't think I realized the effect that had on my life. And the limiting beliefs that caused and all the confidence issues. And so really unpacking that and going, Oh crap. Now I see why I've developed the propensity to feel X or Y or do Z.
And so when it comes up, I pause and it is really that moment where I pause and I go, this is that ego or that belief, and it's popping up. And I take some really deep breaths and it sounds corny, but it is just a way for me to reset. Cause if I don't do that, it will just keep crumbling in, you know, I'm someone who I can get really anxious about finances, which by the way, if you own a startup or any kind of business like that, obviously all the damn time.
So if I don't take that moment to just stop and pause and like, be aware and then go, okay this is coming up. I know it's coming up and now I get to pivot. And then I just think about something really freaking positive. And for me, like I'm a dancer, so it might be like a dance choreograph going through my mind.
Literally, that sounds cheesy, but I have to switch it up to be able to turn it off and then I can just kind of plug through my day. Now I do a lot though, too, to work with this. I met, I exercise all the time. I'm just now starting to focus on breath, actually your recommendation on the book I'm currently reading. And I think all that goes into it. It's not just something you can do. Like, Hey, we'll just recognize that limiting belief and then stop it. It takes practice. Yeah. But I think if you don't practice, then you'll sabotage yourself or at least that's my experience.
George: Yeah, no, I love it. And just the book that she's referencing, by the way, it's called Breath by James nester. If you've done breath work, or if you wonder about a lot of the stuff in the world I highly recommend reading this book. It kind of blew my mind on how much we have de evolved as humans from, inappropriate breathing, not chewing foods the right way and the effect that it has on our physiology, which then affects our performance. It's mind blowing. And just, if everybody wants to try this cause Melanie's in my mastermind and we do breath work a lot, you know, like intra-nasal breathing things like this, but I thought that was enough. Now when I do two workouts a day, I literally. Cover my mouth or keep my mouth shut the entire time.
And I challenge every, I try to go for a 45 minute walk and breathe through nothing but your nose and have some tissues for like the first five minutes. Cause you're going to detox some stuff out, but it's really powerful, like what it does to your body inside. And so before I get into anything deep on your pass, I have a question for both of you, because I think it's really prevalent and. Idon't know and April, I think it probably comes up in storytelling a lot. So you build community through the power of story. And then Melanie, you use your story to empower women to take action. But I think there's this, and I don't know, I'm not a woman, obviously. So I'm leaning into you guys on this one.
I think it's really easy just to accept that, like women tell stories and they want to be emotional and they want to put it out there where like, Guys don't right. And I see this all the time. I see this all the time. Cause like I'm not going to be authentic. And then we just have like this expectation, but I want to know from you guys, when you're going through your journey is when you're in your stories and you know that these stories share and they inspire and they empower, how do you walk that line of like, is this intimate or is this authentic? Like, does this belong out there or does this belong in here? And it's kind of like that barometer, like how do you guys dictate? Like what gets shared to the world? Is it going to be positive impact? And so April, I kind of love to hear your thought process on this one, because I think it's prevalent across the board, but I would love to hear from your perspective.
April: Yeah, that's such a great question because I actually think that women still struggle with this. Quite honestly, even though we are more prone to storytelling and we're probably more prone to kind of sharing our stories with each other versus men, to your point, they still, we still have this filter that we run everything through of what are other people going to think. You know, what, if I'm not enough?
What if my story doesn't matter? What if it doesn't have an impact or what if I scare the crap out of somebody that tell them they'll my truth. You know, so I think that we still have this really huge filter that women and this is really what I try and love to do at light Beamers is try to help women walk through that filter and get on the other side of it so they can share their story very boldly and brightly and in a positive way. For me I have found that I know when I'm hitting the story, either for someone else or even myself, when there's emotions. And when there's real vulnerability and Bernay Brown, you know, of course talks about vulnerability at length and with great brilliance.
And I, you know, couldn't agree more that when we are tapping into that thing into our stomach, that just makes us feel so, you know, fearful of what are others going to think, or what if this is too much or what if it's not enough. And all of those, what ifs, those are really like powerful things to pay attention to.
And that vulnerability is usually a signal that you're tapping into your truth and that truth should be shared. It's not too much, it's not sharing, things that are not appropriate. It's sharing honesty, your truth your real power or what the light that I'm, you know, think that our stories hold, I just had a call with a client who kind of like she's a podcaster and she has an episode coming out literally tomorrow. And two days ago after she finished recording it, she gets on SOS with me. And she's like, I am freaking out because I just shared some stuff on this recording and I don't know what to do.
I think I need to erase it or delete it. And I was like, don't you dare because what you're feeling right now, Well, once you release this on Wednesday and you turn around and see the reaction it's going to get from your audience there, you're going to draw so many people closer to you because once you share your truth, it gives someone else permission, or at least takes a step towards sharing their own.
And so it's just, it's the thing that builds us up in community. It's the thing that connects us. And so it's vulnerability that real pit in your stomach that. This makes me so nervous, but here's the real barometer. Ask yourself if not sharing it is an option, right? Are you going to feel suffocated and silenced and muzzled? And like, Oh my gosh, like a raging tiger in a cage.
If you do not share that story. And the answer is, yes, you really know that's the story that needs to be shared.
George: I love it. I love it. Yeah. I have a, I want to unpack that, but now, I want to hear your thoughts on this one as well. And just to be clear, like I'm not saying that men and women do it differently, but we, in my experience looking, and I'm sure you guys can see this the way in which it's approached, like storytelling, doing marketing, like for whatever reason, it's seen different and there's different expectations. And I feel like the playing field needs to be leveled. It needs to be human. Not, you know, man woman masculine, feminine, boom. Like it just needs to be human. Like story is everything and our voice and our story is what creates possibility for other people. And so, yeah. So Melanie, I would love to hear your thoughts on this one, because you are doing an amazing job of sharing your story and you unpack it piece by piece, but how do you feel about this?
Melanie: Well I come from a really weird perspective because, cause I, you know, and I'm not trying to label myself, I've always been and described as a pretty unemotional at least outwardly woman. I mean, I was career woman at a big law firm and you know, any of showing any emotion and work just gets kind of beaten out of you. Like, you know, don't ever let them see you cry was the advice I got on day one. and I went through two pregnancies at that law firm. And I remember like crawling under my desk because like the hormones are asking, you know, acting up, but I'm like, I got release. I can't let anybody see me. And so after several years of that, you start hardening and I really have experienced that.
And I think the issue with that is it made me a little bit less relatable to a lot of other women because I'm not emotional. You know, my husband always tells me like, God, your emails are really direct. You're going to offend people. And I'm like, Oh, my God. I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just kinda like that. Get to the point, you know, give me the facts. Cause that's what I, that's what I learned. I've always been very driven and come from a family that really pushed, you know, make good grades and be very driven and get to the top. And so it has taken the last couple of years when I, for the first time experienced personal development work and emotional IQ.
And I really, I didn't have much, and it very eye opening for me to be like, Holy crap. I actually don't have any problems sharing my story, but it is, it's usually very fashionable, so it's not in a way that people can relate to. So I remember George went one of, maybe one of the first times it was at your mastermind. When I had talked about some of my experiences at it as a child and you either turned to me or Zeke, I can't remember Zeke told me, or you did. And you were like, Oh my God, look at how she says that there's no emotion to it. It's just like very factual. And that landed, you know, I'm like, Because I want to be relatable because of my story to help other women. and they can see how Jgenuinely passionate and I am about powering other women and making sure nobody's left out and inclusivity and propping other women up. I mean, that is really what I stand for. So if that isn't not coming across, like that's doing myself disservice, cause I am so passionate about it.
So I think for me, I've had to take some steps to try to like, peel back the layers and put the wedge in cause some cracks and come out a little bit and it's taken some work. It's taken some really hard emotional work and I'm still doing it, but I'm committed to it because I do want to be related relatable and feel that people see me as being authentic rather than just like, you know she's not really feeling it. So is it real or what is she talking about? So I'm a working progress, I guess.
George: Yeah. Well, I think we all are right. I think that's the point of all of this. I know April is going to be like, that's power of story, document the process. I love it. And the thing I'll say Melanie is, I don't think, I think there's a difference between being direct and being disconnected. Like I love the directness, like emotionally grounded, connected people are direct. I mean, you know, my wife, I love how direct she is most of the time, except for when I'm off the rocker and it like cuts through my soul and I have to let go whimper in the corner and I'm like, Oh, I'm such a bad little boy. And that had nothing to do with it, but I have to go work through that now. And then I go to the gym at 3:30 in the morning to get it out. I smashed weights to get rid of it. And so when, when you think about this for both of you, what I love and you both kind of tapped on this, right? I think and April, when you were talking about this, like really checking in and getting your story, when you get that pit in your stomach and you have that.
I think that's the difference between sharing your authentic voice and creating a voice. And I think what we see a whole lot of now is we see a whole lot of check boxes when it comes to marketing and business, right? Like I'm supposed to say this, I'm supposed to post this. It's supposed to look that way.
And on paper, the recipe looks like it would succeed and we all get the phone calls. It's not working. Nobody's responding. And so what are some of your gauges April? Like, how do you feel when you get into story? Like I said, a couple of years ago, and I think I live this way. I'm like life happens in the messy details, so fuck it. I'm sharing it and that's just what it is at this point for me. And that's been kind of my therapy, but there's also been times on the other side where I'm like, okay, I can't do it unless it looks this way or this way. Cause everybody's doing it this way. And so how do you navigate that April? Like how do you look at like what to share when to share how to be like you versus like what world wants or what are your thoughts on that? When it comes to putting it out into the world?
April: Well, I think for marketing and branding, right? Which a large part of this audience is probably interested in that topic. There's definitely a piece of you that wants to show up on brand and on message and polished and the things that were taught and is attractive. And I believe we also can share that behind the scenes, pull the curtain back and be real. And so I don't think I don't really subscribe to a philosophy. It needs to be all one way or another. I believe in some sort of balance. Sort of teach a formula to my clients about T I C S and I'm like, look just create content and share with your audience stories that can teach andinspire connect and sell or think of sharing instead of selling and selling makes you nervous.
And so if you show as the branding person, the expert in your field, you can teach, you can share high value and share the brand message and then you're inspirational and you're connecting content and posts and emails and marketing can be more of like behind the curtain. Like, look, I'm just going to share with you April instead of like light Beamers.
I'm just going to be who I am today and share with you and maybe share some of my fears. Share with you something that I'm experiencing right now that feels like a failure. Something that isn't as pretty and can be in the messy middle. It's not really polished and ready for that brand statement and it's going to go out on the website. But it can still be part of who I am. I am. And so I think it's important. This is just what I subscribed to. I think it's important that not only like brands and solo preneurs and entrepreneurs and small businesses, but I would really love to see larger corporations and organizations doing this more.
There are a few out there that I think do it really well, but I still think by and large our culture in this country subscribes to the former. Like we've got to be buttoned up and polished and we can't really show our cracks because if we show our cracks, no one will trust us and want to hire us. I'm thinking it's really the opposite. If you went to show your cracks and show that you're human, they're going to fall in love with you even more and they don't even care what your prices are at that point. They're going to choose you over the RSP,they just got in the mail. We write our email, whatever. So I just. I wish we could. And Hey, it's good. It's a sign that I can be around for a while. Teaching what I teach, because there's plenty of people that still need to learn.
George: Not when we're doing an April, we're doing it. We don't have to wish we're doing it. And just for everybody wondering RFP is request for proposal. Just we're throwing around like corporate lingo over here. Nobody's going to start dropping like contract names. I just happen to know some of them. So yeah, no, I think I absolutely love that. And when I think about it, I agree by the way, there's very few big brands and things that I see, like put the human in marketing. But at the end of the day what I think most people forget, like sales is a transference of energy, right? Which means in order for a sale to happen, it has to be human to human, which therefore marketing is just a human being, showing up authentically to attract another human being. And then that's what allows the possibility for it to happen.
And yeah, I think. I think too. And Melanie, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Cause you've evolved so much when it comes from like business, like you literally went from basically they told you be a man in a man's world as a woman, and I'm like, Hey, all of you go shove that shit down your fucking throat, quite frankly. And I'll kick you in the shins, right? Like that's part of the problem with your toxic masculinity. Bullshit. I'm sorry, that's another podcast Stephanos and I'll do it later. it's coming, but when, what, when you think about that you were in that world and he, like, you have this voice, you have this, like, you're a mother, you're a powerful woman.
You want to empower other women and you transition out and you came from the old boys club and then you had to kind of transition over and it's been a process I'm sure. How have you felt on that, because what I love about you that I see from the area outside is that you're not afraid. Sometimes you tell me you are, but I don't really believe you.
You're not afraid to like, document your journey and go through that growth process. So how has it been for you versus like in the beginning when you were like, I'm, non-emotional, don't cry, don't be here to like, Hey, here's who I am piece by piece, I'm working towards it. Like, how does it feel? Does it feel different? Is it inspiring to you? Are you getting into that momentum? I would love to hear your thoughts on that.
Melanine: Yeah, it's been liberating for me. Just to go back where when I was interviewing to work at the, this big law firm, which was a great job, I'm not bashing the law firm, but I remember. Being like, Oh God, I have to put on my resume that I studied abroad. And I was actually scared to do that because I was like, Oh, they're not gonna want to see that they're going to want to see like total dedication student government law review all this stuff. And then when I got there, as it turned out, most of my conversations in that interview, cause you interviewed with 10 people when you're going to a big law firm was about that period of time.
And most of them said to me, God, I wish I would have done that. I was so concerned about what my resume looked like. I wish it would have done that. And look, that didn't flip me right then. I mean, there were still so worried about telling people you got pregnant. I remember I was so scared to just tell people it really it is an old boys club.
It's still the case, even though. Things are evolving and it's been better. And I had some really strong female mentors at that firm for the most part. It's a good old boys club. It was in Texas. It was very conservative. So anyhow you see a lot of that. So when I stepped out of that and dove head first into this.
I was like, I'm going to become the anti-corporate no more pantyhose. I'm not wearing a suit. We are going to have fun every day. A lot of our marketing is cheeky and sassy. Cause I could never be that way at the law firm. I had to be very serious and professional. I'm still professional but I have to have fun. Otherwise, why am I doing this? So I think. For me, one of the first things we did, it was really spend a lot of time identifying our core values. Our number one core value is empowering women. Like every, everything that I post, I look to our list and go, does it meet one of these and it's not like I'm checking it and really worried about it.
But my most recent example I'll give you, cause this is totally fitting here is. There was this, or may still be going on this Facebook challenge for women, you had to be invited by another woman to post a picture of yourself. And it was this women's empowerment, social media thing. And I mean, talk about when you talked about ticks, I thought you meant like those triggers.
I was like, what about all the women who don't get an invite? And I was pissed and I had to like, Step back and go, okay, I have to write a post about this because I am feeling very emotional about it and it's strong. And when that happens, I really do want to write about it because that's important for me in my growth process.
But I also realize that the feelings I had were the antithesis of the reason for the post. it was supposed to be women's empowerment. And I really had this struggle of am I going to be seen as this person who's bashing, what's supposed to be a great thing because I have this issue with the fact that it doesn't apply to all women.
And ultimately, I just, couldn't not say anything like you were saying April. I had to say something about it. I wrote an invitation to everybody in the world to post that. Cause I was like, you don't even invite, I don't want you to be sitting at home, waiting for an invite and feel like. You're not included.
And so for me, it's, those things are very powerful and it's therapeutic for me to write that go through the process of writing the post that I did and actually put it out there and how it's going to be received. But I am my brand and not everybody's going to love me, but what was interesting about that experience is I had about 10 women text me personally and say, Oh my God, I read your posts. I felt the same way. I just didn't want to post about it. There is so much power in that, like these women off the hook and there's nothing wrong with not saying anything, but how cool that there were people out there who related to me. So that is kind of, you know, I wish there was more of a formula.
George: This is why I'm so stoked to have both of you, like leadership is an active role. There's no passive leadership, right? Like we are either, evolving or we're dying. We're either progressing or regressing. And so Melanie, I love that. The formula is to show up and you said something. And what I loved about what you said is you were like, there was a point where I was like, I just have to fucking say something, right? Like that is leadership. Like that is authenticity. And knowing, and the second part that you see said, and I don't care whether you're a man listening as a woman, listening to this, a business, an entrepreneur. Just starting or all the way up. You can never, and I mean, you can never turn down the volume of your voice and expect a positive result ever. It is a guaranteed success for failure. And so Melanie, I'm fucking proud of you. And I saw that post by the way, and I read it, but it actually like, I'll give you a perfect example.
And I think both of you will appreciate this. Like we're in a car. There they are. It's all right, we got dogs. We got kids. We don't edit any of this out. This is unscripted. I told you guys, you don't want to get plugged into my real brain, but this is a little of the craziness that happens in there.
Melanie knows more than anybody. We've had some tears. We've had like some brother and sister, like I fucking lie. Hey, love you. It's amazing. But this morning, I was sitting here and I meditated this morning. And like, we're talking about a lot of stuff. We're talking about authenticity. We're talking about our voice. We're talking about how to show up in the world, how to make a difference in people's lives, how to empower women, how to empower men. And this morning I was triggered as shit. Like I was triggered. I went to the gym, I got the workout out. I'm sitting here and I made the mistake of logging in Instagram before I did my journaling.
And I see some state of the world and somebody responded to me and they're like, don't send me all this stuff. It's bullshit. And I was like, okay, got it. And then I was like, Oh, and my brain was running on, like, you can't be a leader with blinders. You can't pretend it doesn't exist. Oh, you have to. And like every part of me, and I mean, every part of me wanted to write this post and be like, you need to do this and you need to do this and you need to do this. And then like, I really sat with it and I was like, I need to do this. I need to do this. And I ended up writing a post about where I get to change in leadership, where I get to go deeper, where I get to go into the dark and where I get to explore those different things.
And I think it's really powerful for everybody listening this to be as connected to yourself as possible and start to understand and learn your barometer. Like what that thing is. I wrote an email about this. I think Melanie you read it? We have two choices. We can either be a thermostat or a thermometer.
And our job is to be a thermometer. Because the thermostat just tells you what's happening, it posts out. It's a part of the problem. It's like, Oh, it's cold. Oh, it's hot, but it can't do anything about it. But a thermostat like, Oh, it's cold. Let me turn it up a little bit. Oh, it's hot. Let me turn it down a little bit.
And I think it's really powerful. So Melanie, I'm proud of you for posting that and for writing that ending in that do you, either of you ever find it challenging? Like when you're. Like Melanie, for example, like you were triggered in April, you help people uncover parts of their story and you teach storytelling.
Do you guys ever find it challenging when you get that, like pit in your stomach or something you want to share to like put it out there? Like, how does it feel? Do you just. You're like, I dunno, April, if you're like me, you're like, screw it. I feel it I'm shipping it. And Melanie like gets to a point where she's just boiling over and she's like, absolutely not.
And I know Melanie like yells at herself too. I love it. It's like, but like, what's the hardest part I'd like, would love to know like what the hardest part is about like sharing your story or breaking through or sharing some of those things April. Like what's the hardest part for you in that. And then how do you overcome it? Because I know there's a lot of people myself included that still to this day, I write a post and I'm like, I can't, I just, I just can't write. And then like, I do this funny thing where I'll literally hit post and I'll run away and workout for two hours. I'll turn my phone off. I won't do anything. And my gauge is if I come back and I don't have any text messages, it was a good post. If I have a, are you okay? What the fuck did you just post to my, Oh, I should probably go read that again, but I would love to know your thoughts on that April.
April: You know, it's funny. I spent a good portion, really the first half or frontload of my career interviewing people. And so my job was to be a bystander and emotionless similar to an attorney apparently.To be emotionless and just be a vehicle with that story could be shared. And so I spent so much time and energy pouring into other people's stories. When I started building my business and especially using social media and, building my brand, so to speak online, it was really funny to me that I was like, Oh, I actually have to start sharing my story now. No one's ever interviewed me to find out how this works for me. And that has been such an interesting thing because suddenly I could more deeply relate to my own clients now who I've been like, Oh shit, what's the big deal. Come on. These are the things that matter, like let's do it, right. Like I just think let's just, it's out there.
Let's, it's, you know, I know the magic that the story holds for other people, and I've always been focused on the audience what they're going to get out of it and what it can do for the person who shares that story. but when I actually had to start doing this myself and really tapping into my own vulnerability, It was hard as hell and it still is.
Something that even though on a so-called storytelling expert or that I do this, and I've been doing this for 25 years, plus doesn't mean I'm immune that I just get a free pass and that it's really easy. And so it's those same things we've been talking about when I get that pit in my stomach.
When I feel that vulnerability, when I feel my emotion.I have to examine it. And I just, I try to say, is this useful? I have a motto that when we share our stories, we shine a light. And I just think to myself, if I share this, would it be helpful for someone else? And if I can kind of run it through that barometer, then that's my free pass to share.
Even when I don't have it all figured out, it might be a little messy. It makes me extremely nervous and so that has given me free given me freedom to share my story more, even though I'm still applying my own technique to myself, to pull out my own stories, to share if I can run it through and say, Hey, this is at least what's coming up for me right now.
You know, maybe if I share this one, other person would benefit from it. And if so, then I just give myself full permission to share. There are still pieces of my story that I'm struggling with. There are pieces of my story that I've never shared. I mean, I've shared with. You know, confidant and my husband and people in my family close friends, but I have not made those known publicly. And, you know, I'm keeping like a little running tab, like, okay. You know, one day April, you've got to, you've got to get up the nerve to share those stories because I've already run them through the barometer. And I know that they actually would benefit someone else.
But it takes guts. So share your story. And it takes bravery. I did a whole symposium this last year with women and it was all about stepping into your brave and we have to step into our brave to share these moments in our life that feels so scary. It feels scary to share what we're really thinking inside. So some days I went at that and some of them I'm still working on.
George: I'd say that you always win, by the way, just so you know, and I don't, you said something you're like, Oh, I'm keeping a tally because I haven't shared. But then, because it requires me to be brave. You're already fucking brave. Stop. Stop. Yeah. Come over there and kick you in the shin. Like you're already brave stop. I was like, that was literally like the longest stretch hose. Most passive, like put yourself down. I'm like, no, you're such a powerful person. I do have a question about that though. When you said shared, it helps somebody else, do you ever share, because it just helps you like your journey, your post and your process.
Melaniel: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's probably the second part of what I would say about when you share your stories. You shine a light that light shines for someone else and little secret sauce, it's shines for you, the brightest, right? It shines for you the brightest. And so then like, Our stories are healing that's why sharing the story can be the most healing thing that you could ever do for yourself, regardless of what it does for someone else, because you will get such clarity and peace.
Andyou said something earlier about when you were sharing your story and learning to kind of break free of your life of the attorney and being, you know such, you know, never share your story, never let them see you cry and sweat. And you used a word that you used to describe it, which was liberating.
And that is really such a freeing feeling to feel liberated. And so we can get liberated from our own chains that years of storytelling has been holding over us from things in our childhood, things that we've experienced relationships that we've had. If we can break those chains free. Then that's, what's waiting for you on the other side of sharing that story, right? So yeah, it can be about your audience and yes, it can grow your brand and yes, it can help you bring in money to your business. And yes, it can help you do all those things, but more importantly, more than anything else, it will show you what you're capable of and how powerful you are. Just because you owned that story. You learned to harness the power of your own story. At that point, instead of letting the story have power over you.
George: That's stuff, that's the mic drop moment when you take it out of your brain and put it into the world, it neutralizes the charge. So, yeah. And it's something we all talk about. We all have stories. And April, I think you nailed something that. Is so it's like this broken paradigm in the world of life. Like not even business and entrepreneurship life that like, somehow there's a finish line, right? Like, Oh, I shared my story. It's gone. Or I won the race so I can sit on the couch and be a fat ass for the rest of my life. Like, no, like I think I referenced this a lot. Cause Joseph Campbell obviously put this in the hero's journey. And I think everybody misses the fact that after you slay the dragon, there's still another step. And they missed that one where you have to go back and teach the village. And then when you're done, another journey starts and the dragon gets bigger.
Melanie: It's a new level of next devil, right? I mean, you're right. It's like you break through to one layer and then guess what? There's a whole another storyline waiting on you that you've got to go in and break through that one too. So it's a never ending process, but it's a good process because that's part of personal development and growth.
Melanie: Totally. So Melanie, I have a question for you. So now that you're on the other side of this, right? When you're went from vampires to like, heart-centered like giving life, right? Like we'll pick our analogy.
What was the hardest part, because I know there's a whole lot of people here that are listening that hear this, like I have a brand, but I've never shared my story. Or I am sharing that story. The one that everybody wants to hear. So, Melanie, what I would love to hear from you is like, what was the hardest part for you?
And then how did you step through that? Because obviously it wasn't an overnight thing where you're like, okay, I went from lawyer to, I'm going to run a CPG food company. And like you have those values. And just because you define the values, doesn't mean like every day you're like, I'm going to go dance on camera today. I'm going to go on Instagram. I remember when we met, I was like, yo, goon camera, go. And I think I challenged him, like, go live if ever do for 30 days or we're not going to be friends. I make these like completely empty threats all the time. Cause I don't really know how else to make them, but I was like, just do it.
So what was the hardest part for you? And then now that you've shared your story and you're documenting your process, like, how has it changed your thinking on like how you show up in the world and how you show up on social?
Melanie: Yeah. I mean, honestly, and this may be, this is going to sound very simple, but the hardest part for me was allowing me to be myself.
I mean, I had this thought that I needed to portray this image of a leader and that meant professional and serious. ThenI knew I was getting away. I knew I didn't have to wear a suit anymore, but I just had this belief that people gonna buy my product if I'm really myself and are they going to think I'm serious? All of these questions were going around in my head. And so it took a while to migrate over to I can be totally fine. Making a total ass out of myself on any. Social media posts, or even though it still scares me to go on and basically live. I don't know why. I mean, I can talk in front of a room.
No problem. But you put a phone with really could be no one on the other end in the, , it starts and I'm like, ah, I'm. So it's funny how that works, but it was really just giving me permission. Like it's okay. It's okay to be myself and. What I was finding as the more and more I would do that. And I would be authentic and I would share things.
It's kind of like when you're a teacher and you're in the room and someone's afraid to ask a question, but it turns out 10 other people have that question. I mean, same thing. I would start posting about things that were personal and people would actually engage with me like, Oh, I'm really having that issue. How did you combat it? And I realized that this stereotype of a leader that I had learned and had been sort of ingrained in my mind for so long maybe isn't wrong, but it just wasn't me. It just wasn't me. So when I was not offensive or when I was trying too hard or when I was not being myself, which by the way is how I felt my entire career at the law firm. I just didn't feel like I'm right then I didn't really feel satisfied. I mean, I didn't feel fulfilled and for me, I get grounded every day and my mission of helping other women. But if I am not being authentic, it almost, it's like a can't. I can't achieve that balance where I feel like I'm making progress and really honoring what's important to me.
So I would say. That would be the hardest thing. I mean, it's, it goes back to those limiting beliefs, like get out of your own way. Like who cares if you look like an ass or, you know, for me I'm such a perfectionist, like if I've words misspelled it post healthcare. So it's really just been dealing with that. I bet, I guess.
Geroge: Yeah. Oh whatever we want to call it. I mean, we could put labels on all of this all day, right? Like the unattachment being the final goal of all of this before I forget, by the way, guys, I'm loving this conversation so much. I normally tell people where to find you in the beginning of the episode.
So I'm just going to seed it now, cause we're not done, but April, would you mind sharing for everybody the best place to find you to learn more about storytelling, how to get into your world and community? Yes, I'm pretty easy to find mine my brand is light Beamers.. And I have a community on campus, Facebook, a private Facebook group called the light Beamers community. And that's probably the best easiest, and it's freebest place, easiest place to join me and just start learning some of the things that I teach in there. Plus it's all about community. Because I'm really big on getting more women to share their stories. And so I've just created a platform for them to have a safe place to do it.
You know, like it's scary to do this for the first time, if you've never shared your story before. And we have a lot of examples in our world of being attacked and criticized for our words. And the light Beamers community is a place where you can come and never be criticized or attacked. For exploring the power of your own voice. So I would say join there first and yeah. If you want to learn more about what I do and what to offer, you can go to light beamers.com.
George: I'll say this too, the worst place to be as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, as a human is in an echo chamber alone, nobody in their corner. So the more places that you can find yourself aligned with the mission, like Benjamin Hardy talks about this and personalities and permanent, right?
Like you have to envision who you want to be. If you want to be that person that wants to share your story, be around people that shared their story. If you want to be that. $10 million business owner be around people that have built it, been there or are there. And so you are future pacing yourself to get there.
So go check out April's group and then Melanie, let's talk about it. Where does everybody find you?
Melanie: Also you can find me on social mainly Facebook and Instagram and it's Empact bars, EMPACT bars. And then I also have a private Facebook group for women only, sorry, dudes, just for us, which is out there, women. And then you can find me@impactbars.com. If you're interested in our products, we've got, we're a natural snack food company for women, but we're mission based. So my passion is helping women. And a variety of ways.
George: just full disclosure. I am a partner in that company and if you don't go support, Empact bars, I'm not going to support you. There's one of those empty threats again.but I will sayI'm so for those of follow me, I'm doing at high speed daddy, one of our other companies, I'm doing this 75 hard challenge that Andy Frisella put together, Melanie is in the middle of two. What day are you on Melanie? 14 14. I think I'm on day 36 today.
And so for everybody, what is that? It's two 45 minute workout today. It's 10 pages of reading a progress picture every day, a gallon of water, and thenno cheat meals and no alcohol basically as the whole thing. And so I'm dialing in my macros and I've never paid attention before, but I'm actually just trying to get into this.
And it's almost impossible because I'm an adult, I'm an adult. Addict to condiments, right? Like Manet's number one, olive oil number two, creamy Buffalo sauce number three. And I realized I was knocking down like 300 grams of fat a day and they're healthy fats, but when I'm eating those with carbs, I have a lot of energy, but not really anything else moves on the scale. My body, my pants tend to get a little bit bigger. And so I've been playing hang with it, but we made it this new product and God, I don't even remember when I had it for the first time, but we have this trimmed down shake at impact and it is a cinnamon sugar dream donut in your mouth, especially when you make it right.
So for everybody listening, I want you to go get this trimmed out. Shake, go to EMPACTBARS.COM We have bars too, but this shake will change your life. Get get the powder two scoops with 12 ounces of macadamia nut milk, and a banana with some ice cubes. Absolutely mind blowing. You're welcome. I'm just, you can thank me in advance. You're welcome. Go get it. That's it. Okay. We'll get back to the interview now. Thanks. Delicious. Yeah. Well, April, we'll send you some, I mean I literally what I love about Zek and Melanie and they don't admit that they're addicts yet. But they are the biggest sugar and sweet addicts I've ever met. They just pretend not to be because they make healthy products that tastes like things you should not be able to eat. Like that's the best way for me to describe them. I'm just waiting for them to come out of the closet. They're like, all right, guys, we ate 84 donuts a day for 12 months to figure out how to make this flavor.
Because every single product is like chocolate date night and peanut butter party in your blah. And I'm like, how do you even do this? And I just get to be the guy that gives marketing advice. So. I dunno, I have the easy job I get to eat it, drink it. Maleny. You can own that. You're a sugar addict. It's okay.
Melanie: I'm totally a sugar addict so much so that we created a sugar detox plan. It's like, Oh my God, it's ironically, it's zero sugar. But like, Oh my God, you put a cookie in front of me and I cannot resist. So that is why all this challenge that George was talking about. You get to design your own nutrition plan, which is one thing I love about it, because if it were no sugar, there's no way out, huh? Doing no meat, which as you know, a West Texas born girl who grew up on chicken fried steak, it's pretty hard. I've never gone this long without me ever in my life. But I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm just giving it a whirl and I'm going to see what it does, but, um, but it's been interesting, but I couldn't do no sugar.
George: No way. I don't think, I don't think any human should, I don't. I think we have too much sugar in the world, but like, I think you have to have that amount that like the level of happiness. We've got to live a little bit here. So choose the cleanest one. You can and have some fun with it.
So we've been talking a lot about like sharing our story, authenticity, vulnerability, but I have a question for both of you. If you could change anything about the current state of the market, as an entrepreneur, as a woman, entrepreneur, as a storyteller social media, like when you look at the world that we live in and all three of us work online, we have social profiles, we all have this. If you could change anything in that space, April, what would you change and why?
April: I would changed the, just the nonstop pounding of mixed messages that we get and that we are overwhelmed by. and I'm kind of raising both hands over here because I suffer from it. And I also know that I'm also sending signals out there.
So I struggle with that because I know I'm out there trying to get my message heard and I'm out there playing the game and I'm also on the receiving end and everyone else also trying to do that, so I wish, or we could come up with a way that we could filter our news feeds in a way that those names out there they're like Facebook and Instagram don't get to control because of money. That we get to control because that's really who we want to be here. I'm just in out balance, so I'm trying to figure out how to be a voice in this space and taking up space with someone else and being really cognizant of time and energy that someone is spending with me consuming my content, making sure that. I try to give as much value as possible because I understand they're also being pounded. So I don't know how to fix that. I'd love for you to share George, your mind of George on that one how we can really true beat the algorithm. I know it's with relationships, that's what you teach. And that's what I totally subscribed to. And I just have to keep reminding myself to just follow that, just to follow that path that keeps sharing my story. To encourage other women and the people in my life, the community that keep sharing their stories and that at the end of the day, it'll beat the funnel or algorithm out there. And to, again, going back to the very first lesson I shared with you at the beginning of this recording, which is just to remember to enjoy the journey. Because again, I want to like 10 X everything by tomorrow because that's just my human nature. And I kind, I'm sure everyone else, a lot of people feel that way. Why can't we just have it by tomorrow? Why can't the funnels and everything to be working.
George: Can you could get and read an entire book in one minute, since your own story, you wouldn't read any books. There's no journey in that process. And I remember at the beginning, you're like, Oh, I'm impatient. Like I want it now. I think personally that the solution to that is twofold. Number one is that. Us as the influencers, as the leaders, as the entrepreneurs, as the storytellers, we have to have tight containers and consistency. Cause I think on our patr I think it's an equal 50/50. We contribute to the problem by being loose and bowing to the rules of the game that we think we have to play.
And then on the receiving end is people thinking that over consumption is going to somehow give them more and more when an actuality it gives less and less. And so the way that I think about it, right. You know, shopping Malls aren't gonna exist in a couple of months. But when I think about like, when I was like 16 years old, I used to walk by the mall and they would always have that teriyaki chicken sample on the toothpicks. And I would walk by 45 times and never grabbed one. Then I would grab one. I always knew it was there though. I could smell it. I knew it was there. I would see it. There were times I wanted to eat at times that I didn't times I took four samples. Didn't buy any food and times I bought a sample and bought the entree and like, that's the best way that I can describe digital marketing. And like how it should be. When we talk about your story. It's about being consistent and congruent, what you hit, right? Consistent and congruent playing the long game. And then from the consumer side, respecting the customer journey that all of us go through buying cycles different. We go through emotional cycles, life cycles, financial cycles, relationship cycles, and all of those have implications on the way in which we consume, create and grow.
And so it has to be on both sides. And so on the consumer side, We also as, because we're all consumers, you guys consume my content. I consume yours. I eat a whole shit ton of empact bars in that shake. Like I consume, but we all on both sides of the coin have to be intentional about how we do it.
And we all have to have that container of like you can sit here all day, listen to this podcast. You can listen to every podcast that we've ever put out. It's not going to change anything in your business. Not whatsoever. It's going to change your brain. And most likely it's going to hurt your business, increase the reactants to changing because now you feel even more fricking stuck.
And so I think that it's understanding that we're responsible on all sides to lead by example. And the one thing that I sad over and over again is that everybody has to understand that the only reason the game is still played, the way that it is because everybody accepted the fucking rules.
This is not a dictatorship. We make the rules based on how we play the game every day. And so that's why I challenge everybody to play the game and be where you want to be and go on one platform. If you want to go on one and not on the other seven, right? Write an email every day. If you want to, or write one a week, I don't give a shit, just pick one and being consistent so that we can grow and you can grow. You can create those relationships and move forward. And so, yeah, that's, I think about this one a lot. I really. I mean, I. I reflect on this. It's probably one of the biggest questions I ask. And like, obviously we teach relationships,beat algorithms. But that all comes from us getting plugged into ourselves.
Because relationships only work if you know who you are who your team is, you know, who your customers are and in burst on that one. So,that's a really good one. And I love that too. And I think it's really important to be self aware. April what you said is you're like I send mixed I'm impatient, like. You're not any of those things. Those are things that you have in the moment. They're not who you are, but it's the awareness of those that allow you to shift them. And that's really the secret sauce here. So Melanie, I'm going to, I'm going to X the conversation over to you. I'm going to toss it over to you with the same question. Like when you think about maybe it's your role in this world, an Empact bars, or maybe it's you and your journey, or maybe because you and I live in the CPG world where really shooting relationships. People take, they want everything upfront. It's all transactional. If you don't have money, you don't exist. Like if you look at this world of entrepreneurship, like in any part of it, what is one big thing that like you would change or want to see done differently?
Melanie: Yeah. I think one thing I've noticed recently, and even with myself is of course there's a lot of fear and there's a lot of negative feelings right now people are unsettled, unclear what the future holds and they're scared. And. I've seen a lot of people just become paralyzed and have made the decision that like, I'm not gonna do anything. I'm just gonna wait it out. I'm gonna live in inaction for a while. And I actually think that's the worst thing we can do right now.
Like rather than letting this situation and environment define me I'm choosing to define,, take control of this situation and to find it myself. So look it was not hard for me when this first hit, I have three young kids. I would add a new business. I'm trying to do virtual schooling, which is a total crap shoot when you have young kids and one of my kids is too. I mean, it was laughable what we were trying to do every day in the house with three kids at home and a business. And. It was very easy for me to get stuck and I'm not out of it. It's been tough. I mean our business, every just like every other business we've had to pivot. And, but, but what I've done is really I have done so many things to not let this define me.
I'm like, you want to give me a 75 hard challenge that's going to kick my ass. I'll take it. you want to throw a new business idea at me. I'll do it. I'm experimenting with breath, work and new kinds of meditation. And it's really interesting cause for someone who personal development, it was just not on my radar until about two years ago.
I just didn't understand it. I didn't like the word self help book. I still don't love that word. It's a bad description for what they do, but you know, I was defined by my environment and so I can relate to people who are, but I think inaction is the worst thing we can do right now. I think waiting it out.
Like I understand the people are in tough situations and I mean, Everybody's situation is unique, but for me, I'm going to do everything I can, if anything, just to help me financially, but also with my mindset. So I'm not, you know, the statistics on depression right now and alcoholism are growing every day and like, I don't want, I don't want to be there and I'm committed to not letting that happen to me.
So it may look really weird what I attempt to do. I mean, I may do some crazy shit just to get through this, but for me, at least I'm taking the steps to take control of it. And so if I could have anything changed and I'm certainly not trying to be judgmental on anybody, but it's just taking that action, join a challenge, like work towards something, be inspired. I mean, I think you right now, though, less and less of that is falling in our laps and we have to make it happen ourselves. Totally. And that's fine. That's what I think it would be.
George: This is my podcast. Nobody's fucking coming to save you. Nobody. And like, I mean that with love, right? Like I even looked at the beginning of this when this happened. And I was like, Oh, we'll be fine. Oh, we'll be fine.And now I'm two companies down and. Almost six figures a month lost revenue. I'm like, Oh shit. Okay, cool. And then if I look back and here's the thing, I look back, I'm like, what could I have done differently? And I'm like, Oh, I could have done this. I could have done this. I could have done this. I'm like, great. I couldn't do it then, but I can do it today. And like, that's the path forward? Like Stefano says thisone of my business partners who coaches men and. He's like, you know, we ask all the time, like, how can I better serve? How can I better help? And the answer is always, you have to deepen your practice to deepen your service, right? Like you have to go in, there's a lot of opportunity here. There's a lot of loss. There's a lot of pain. And there has been for a long time in entrepreneurship which by the way, I think is one of the.
The silver linings in this is that it's putting a magnifying glass on like how unsupported small businesses are, how tilted in the favor of big business and power control and everything is, and now it's really coming out like how suppressed people are and their voices, how literally. How massively.
Social media and big business manipulates. What people see to change agendas. Like it's all coming out right now. But then at the same time, that's creating an entirely different playing field that like what Melanie said in April you said this earlier too. Like we want it to happen overnight, but it all starts with a single step and we can sit here and we can regress.
We can go backwards. We can atrophy or we can grow. And what we're all being called to is a different level. And the way that I looked at it, I was like, I don't think there's any way to lose the game. If I make a commitment to not to watch one fucking minute of Netflix and to read a book and to write something, to post something and to do a challenge and to do it. And so we get to make the most of what all of this is, and we're going to come out of it either stronger, or we're going to of it in the same spot. And then we're still going to have to take an action. So, Melanie, I love that. And I'm proud of both of you. I watched both of you like a Hawk.
If you guys are in my world, see everything you do. Every post I saw April's event April. Does awesome stuff, Melanie, I watch every one of your posts doing the challenge, even though I know you're like, ah, challenge, how am I going to get this? Ah, and if you guys wonder, like how to tell if Melanie's from Texas, the one of her daughter's name is Remington. And so that'll put it out there and then she's gonna let her older daughter have a Mohawk that I potentially pushed over the edge and help inspired back in the day too.
Melanie: She did it. She has.
George: Are you going to text me a picture? I haven't seen it yet.
Melanie: It's long enough. She doesn't have to wear it all the time, but we finally, after a year of her begging for it, I said, man, I am the reason that this kid isn't, you know, being herself. So we're just gonna do. It so cute. She can style it up or wear it down, but she's got a sassy little haircut. It's so perfect for.
George: I love it. I love it. And Maleny, I think it was such sound advice too, about like, Hey, when you get meet with this, right? Like the worst thing you can do is freeze, right? This applies to everybody, men, women entrepreneurs starting. I think only distinction that I think should be talked about. You know, quickly in April, I'd love your thoughts on this. And we talked about when you post on social, right? Like that gut feeling of like, Oh, I know I should do this. But there's also times where you have to have discernment of this feeling reactive and compensatetory? Or is this feeling something that's like calling me forward?So April, I'm sure that this comes up for you. Like, how do you disseminate that? Like you're triggered, I'm afraid of the world, or I'm impatient, or I'm saying this cause I'm angry or mad. Like, how do you. Check your barometer to make sure that it's out for the right reason.
April: Yep. This is really easy for me because my background from many years ago, I started out as a journalist and I worked in television news and I was tasked every day. With going out and telling bad stories, not in terms of quality, but in terms of context. And so I was chasing firetrucks and police cars and criminals and corrupt politicians and, sticking microphones in their face. And that's what I did. And I didn't like it. And I made a very conscious decision probably at the age of 29 years old. When I left that world after clawing my way into it that I was no longer going to allow be a vehicle for sharing stories that were negative. And I drew a line in the sand very clearly.
I can remember it even here sitting at the age of 48. So, you know, 20 years ago, And I have made it my mission, which is really how all of this work comes about to never. And I don't say nuts to say I don't ever, cause I fault her on this just like any human, but that's the barometer that I run my content through with any kind of reaction that I might have to some.
Stupid political post or something that's happening in the news. And I want to say something derogatory being pissed off about it. I just remind myself that I spent a good chunk of my career early in the day of sharing stories that were negative. And I just choose consciously not to do that anymore.
And so I remind myself of my own mission that I want to be a voice of positivity and I want to be a poised of voice of encouragement and hope. And so whatever I'm feeling in that moment, there might be something I really want to do say, but then I just try to pull back and then what's the positive side of this, or what's the encouraging side of this, or what's the educational side of this that I could share.
And so it forces me to take a pause and not be reactive.I wish more people would listen and learn that because that's part of the problem on social media is everybody's so reactive and so judgmental and then pointing fingers instead of just listening and part of probably who you should be listening to more than anything else.
Is yourself like, look in the mirror, are you being an asshole? You know, stop doing that. So I just I remind myself constantly that I did that and I didn't like it. It didn't feel good. I didn't enjoy making a paycheck that way. It felt very heavy. I had extreme anxiety. I come home at night though.
Like I have an 800 pound elephant on my chest and I never ever want my words or my, or the way I communicate too to represent that again. So that's my clear, easy answer. Do I, am I 100% on it? Nope, absolutely. I have missteps all the time, but I yanked myself up pretty quickly when I recognize it.
George: Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's not I don't consider the missteps. I consider them growth. Like the world changes around us. We change, we grow the triggers change. Like you get to a new level, there's new triggers. They're sneaking to stuff adding in there. But I think it's all about like what you talked about.
And I think there's an undertow of what your shared that like, You will never succeed in life or business if it's inauthentic or incongruent to you, or if it's taking a physical toll or an emotional toll on your wellbeing. And I'm going to say this. Marketing is really fucking easy when you play the shitty way. When you go the controversial route, when you harp on pain points, when you jump on the back of it, right? Guarantee you, it always ends in failure or disaster, you might make money and you'll die on the inside. You might make money and die on the outside, or you might just die in all of them. And so I love that and I think it's really important too that you remove the attachment to what it looks like. Like we get to share, like we are companies, we are entrepreneurs. We are solo preneurs. We are influencers. We are people that have an option or have actually made the decision to the voice. And I don't care how big or small you are. We've made the decision to have a voice.
And everything that we do is either contributing to the problem or it's creating a new solution. And I love that barometer. I think it's absolutely amazing. And Hey, newsflash, people are going to fucking hate you. It's just going to happen, but they don't like, I'm just telling you that they don't, people have to understand that when people get upset, it's because you're challenging a fragile belief, your positivity, your inspiration. You're telling them they can do it. And their response being negative. It's just screaming. I'm scared. You have to stay consistent. You have to be a lighthouse. You have to do it. And I absolutely like. I just don't feel like people talk about it enough. Like I get hate, but I don't get it publicly. They slide into my DMS.
Like it's always into my DMS for whatever reason. I'm like, why won't you post it publicly? I'm like, I want other people to come to my defense and I just sent them a video. I'm like, thank you. I love you. How are you? Can I help you? Yes. And then I actually had one the other day. I talked about this on another podcast.
I didn't know if it was a compliment or like a put down or just really Savage. He's common. And one of my ads was you never wear a hat over your eyebrows. And it like messed with my head for 24 hours. I'm like checking my head, the mirror. And I was like, Oh, I don't like it above my eyebrows. This hat just fits. So I told my wife. I was like, babe. And she's like, well, just tell him I was keeping the sun out of your eyes. And I was like, sure. So I logged in and responded. I was just keeping the sun on my she's like, bro, you're inside. I just want you to show up that beautiful bald head.
And I'm like, Oh, he wasn't even trolling me. Oh man. Okay. I got it. I just think, I think all of us, right? Like, and Melanie, you do this. what I love about you Melanie is that. Sometimes you don't put words to your feelings, but you now live in a place where like you just authentically show who you are, you show it in your emotions, you showed in your words, you showed in your languaging. And I just want to commend you for that because I think it's absolutely amazing, like the example that you're leading by and moving through this and the mission at Empact bars is to empower women to live. That's what we came up with on the whiteboard one day. And I absolutely love it. Melanie, when you think about that, when you think about that statement, what you want to do in the world, if you could have five minutes to say anything, you want any woman to any person listening and what your mission is, how to better do it, how to move forward, something to put into their life. What would you tell them?
Melanied: Oh, my God. I thought you were going to go a different way with that question the thing is my natural instinct would be to make it about them and not about me.And when we're talking about, and I'll get to, I'll answer your question, but it just something came up when we were talking about April your positivity with your messaging. And I thought about how sometimes we do have these really angry, they happened to be women who are commenting on our social media posts and they can be really mean, and it is very easy to be impulsive. Then be reactive and just something out that isn't so nice. And so I have to take a momentand get grounded and always lead with love.
But nine times out of 10, what I find is. A lot of these women just want to be seen or heard or respected if you just give them your time and acknowledge their feelings. Like it's very powerful. And nine times out of 10, that woman who started out really mean will then apologize and say, I'm sorry, I did not know that this is what you stood for or that, I'm passionate about thiI, but I understand what you're doing.
And so for me I could go a hundred different ways question. I had been so lucky to be able to integrate my personal mission of empowering and helping other women that goes. Long time back many years ago and it's just been building and compounding and to be able to put that in my business.
So every aspect that we do is to help women, all of our foods designed for women based on feedback from women. We work with nonprofits, we partner with these nonprofits that help women and girls. And honestly, on my worst day I think to all these really powerful moments, Where we're going into a building where these underservedvictims of domestic violence, these women are doing work for us company, and it's like, everything just fades away.
I'm like, this is why I'm doing it. I might've had a really bad day way more slaps that day than hugs. But when I see that. I'm like this is it. And so what we really try to do is just help women in a variety of ways. And I don't want to give you the sales pitch, you know it anyway.
But that is really my guiding principle. it never, everybody lately all these people have comment. Can you make products for men? I'm like, I don't know how to do that.
George: Hold on. Listen. They are for men. I eat them every fricking day. Like everybody like Melanie. Anybody who says that, just sending this podcast and you're gonna have to listen to an hour of it to get it, but listen, I'm part of the company. They taste fucking amazing. And quite frankly, I like that. They're smaller because I have no self control. I need you to do it for me because I would eat an entire box of those things, but they're like snack size. And so it helps me keep my love handles off. And my wife somewhat attracted to me, not my dad bod. So they are for men.
Melanie: it's not about the weight loss, right? It's about women coming to me being like I'm so sick of having a half eaten protein bar at the bottom of my person, I can't fit in 300 calories, 50 grams of protein. And I'm like, Oh, Yeah, you're right. I can't find that snack yet either.
George: I actually think I got to interrupt you on this too, because you solved the problem in the market that most people don't talk about. Like a lot of the fitness products, a lot of the wellness products, like very few of them are like tailored towards women. And like serving size as being one of them. And let's talk about, we're not going to get into a nutrition podcast right now, but like how over consumed everything in our society is that's actually why I love them. When you told me like, Oh, one's a snack, two's a meal. I'm like, whatever. But like literally like the level of self control that puts into me, like how good it makes me feel to not have a crash and not to overeat and to feel like I'm making positive progress that literally tastes, I don't know. It just tastes like I'm cheating. That's what it tastes like. That's what we want. It tastes fat. That's the best way I can describe it. So yeah, I think it's awesome. . And what's your favorite flavor of the bars?
Melanie: Oh, peanut butter party all day long. Cause peanut butter and chocolate chip. I mean, my favorite candy are the Justin's peanut butter cups. Like to say, these are Justin's peanut, the dark chocolate peanut butter cups, but I'll be you know, and I love Justin's. So I'm not knocking that product. I eat those all day long. Cause of course I'm a sugar addict.
George: Well, your first step, your first step to recovery is acknowledging it. and then now you're like, I don't want to recover. I'm just going to own this one. I'm going to keep this one. An addict is a new one. Like, I've never heard that before, sir. Kensington's like, I'm friends with them, but like they made me a Manet's addict and then I think Europe's had it nailed forever. When you get French fries in Europe, you don't get ketchup, you get Manet's right. Like they are genius. They are light years ahead of us. How to properly use Manet's and I'm going to give him creditall day. The problem is, I can knock down an entire jar, sir. Kensington's. And two days and I'm like, Oh, it's fine.
It's fine when you're KIDO. But when you're doing that and eating 400 grams of carbs a day, like you got to pick one or the other. So alright April, I'm going to come to you because I think it's so powerful, like what you do. And I actually love that. Like you teach story and I've watched Melanie share her story and evolve and you share yours and evolve.
But for everybody listening, man, woman, anybody, no matter where they are. That haven't shared their story that like, has that tally of I haven't shared any of it. Like, what do you recommend? The steps that you take? What can they do? What's the power of their story? What can they do with it? Like give us some guidance from the April light Beamer brain of like how to shine people's light into the world.
April: My favorite type of story to share and to tell, and the ones that I think have the biggest impact or any type of transformation. So think about your own life and where have you walked through something before looked different than the after and examine those transformational moments, those transformational lessons that you probably have experienced or learned, or gained wisdom from and just start sharing that, just start sharing pieces of that with other people.
It could be people in your community, it could be. just people in your family, like really, what would that even look like to share a story like that with your children? To let your children know you've walked through something, and this is the lesson that you learned from it. And then obviously you can take it into marketing and social media and building a business, building a brand, building an audience and do it on virtual zoom calls and teach it and share it and all of those things, on your channels.
The power that it holds is not only again that it can shine a light for someone else. But as we talked about earlier, it really ultimately helps you turn on your own internal light and it helps you gain so much clarity about like, gosh, I had to go through that fire. That was yeah. Difficult situation.
But now I can turn around and look at it, appreciate it. So the times in our lives that we've been knocked down. You know melody, you sharing like your experiences as attorney, like someone's saying like never let them see you cry. Like you can look back on that now and say, but you know what?
I had to go through that because now it's fueling me so much more now to want to share that this message that I have for other women to let them know you can cry. You can be yourself, you can share your emotion. It's challenged you, right? To even discover, how can you share more of your emotion because you locked so much of it away for so long.
So you're getting to learn through the experience that's the light being shined back on you. So I would just I live this Pollyanna vision that the more we all share our stories, the more our world is going to lift up in consciousness and that the more connected that we're going to be.
And that we literally are going to come by y'all off into the sunset. So I mean, everybody to get on board of that fit vision with me, I just need them to start sharing their stories, be a light Beamer, and we'll all be okay. We're all gonna make it out. If we would do just do that one thing together and stop with a judgment stop with a hate stop with the, Black versus white and just all the things that's out in the world that just makes no freaking sense to me, listen, share the story, you share the story and then open up your ears to listen to someone else's share theirs.
And I promise that's the vision of light Beamers. That is the vision. I do this work mostly with women, but I will do it with any person that listens to me and yeah.want me to come along and help them on that journey of sharing that story because every single one of us has valuable stories inside of us to share.
I have interviewed over probably several thousand people in my career with a lot of people and I have never ever. Walked away from an interview going well, that was a waste of time because that person sure doesn't have a story. No, there was some gold, every single person that I've ever talked to.
And it's so powerful when we dig in and hit that person at their core and find out what their real truth is it just builds a connection and a bond, like no other. Yeah. And the, all of that is waiting for us. Yep. So if we're feeling alone and we're feeling not seen, and we're feeling isolated, I did, and depressed and all those things.
Start looking for some stories that you can share in your own life and start bridging the gap and shining your light. That's what I would say.
George: Yeah. And I, and start sharing that story with yourself. One of the most powerful things you can do is get it out of your head. Write it, read it recorded on a video to hear yourself and start filling your tank. And and stories don't have to be long either. The shirtless story, the shortest story ever told was Ernest Hemingway. It was a six word story. By the way you can Google it a six word story. I think it was a for sale baby shoes, never worn. And it came on like the back end of a bet that like he couldn't write a story and under 10 words and get people to buy it.
April:Can I interrupt you and tag onto that? And another really powerful way to share your story is just start writing. I am statements. I am blank. I am wise. I am beautiful. I am bold. I am brave. I am a light Beamer. I am my story. I am a brilliant lawyer and brilliant entrepreneur. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am love. I am a mother. I'm a wife. Like just start writing those. I am statements and claims.
George: Yes. I love it. I love it. I love it. Melanie. I've done similar personal development work. So if you ever asked me who I am, I will always say I'm a loving, passionate and trusting man, and it never goes away. I have it thing written everywhere.
It's the three things of my future self and who I choose to be, and follow with caution, but there's somebody I follow. Cause he speaks my language West Watson. He was a felon for 10 years and now he helps people, trans people. He's a big personality online podcast, everything. And he said his mission in the world. And this resonates with me is to build the man, to give him away to build the man required, to give away, to build the man and then give it away to your children, give it away to the world, give it away to your spouse, give it away to whoever needs it. And like that, the way he says it just like stings my soul and all of it.
All of it starts with us, all of it, how we see ourselves, who we choose to be, how we affirm that choice, how we step into that, how we further forward I am.I am like the most important part no author has ever written a book and no one has ever told a story without knowing who they were. And that's the most important thing that you can do. So, Melanie, I'm gonna, I'm going to let you close. I'm gonna let you give the world some empowerment to live, whatever you want to do. The floor is yours. Last message. Final parting words. Anything you want anybody to take away? The floor is yours.
Melanie: Well, thank you. Can you hear me? Okay. Yeah. My neighbors decided to have some guys outside my window and I'm like a forest right now. This is happening. anyhow, here's the advice I would give you right now and April, when you talk about these transformational stories. I think as hard as this time is right now, like some really great transformational stories can come out of this.
So what a good way to focus on and so what I would leave people with is number one and I guess three things, hopefully I don't forget them by the time I'm done, but the first thing is don't let your limiting beliefs by about yourself, get in your way just take it.
The jump. I mean, I can always go back to practicing law and frankly, this process of becoming an entrepreneur is it's the best learning I've ever gotten. It beats the hell out of any schooling I've ever gotten. No matter what happens in my life, I will always look back this time is such a growth period in so many ways it's opened so many doors.
So I think. Getting out of your own way is the first thing. Number two, don't let this situation that we're all going through define you.it's really easy to say that and we all have our own personal struggles, but Oh my God. If I let this situation define me, I can't imagine what I'm going to look like when I come out.
The other end of it. Like I just, I can't imagine. And for me, what drives me every day is I've got three little girls and they're watching my behavior all the time. Now they're watching it all the time and I need to model to them somebody who has strength, but who so emotional? My oldest child, who's 10 now, when she was eight. we were sitting in the kitchen one day and she goes, you know, mom, I've never seen you cry. It was like a punch in the gut that I had not opened up to her and let her know that it's okay to do that. And so it's those little things, but you learn a lot from your kids, but I just think it's really important to not let this situation define everything that we're doing. And number three, I think that the parting word I would have is, try something new right now. Like I'm doing this crazy ass challenge. I would never freak a diabetic given up meat for 75 days and alcohol. I love bourbon. Like what the hell am I thinking?
But it is created this. Honestly is put me to a schedule that I've never been consistent about a schedule. And I don't know, it's not, I'm only 14 days in, I have no idea the kinds of results that will come out of this, but it's something new and it is forcing me to be really delicious Jen, about prioritizing my time.
And I just think it's so simple but this perfect time to try something new and to don't get. You'd get out of your old habits and start forming some new ones. So those arethe three things I would leave you with during this time, ask me next week. And my advice might change today.
George: I love it. You know, on the first one, I said this on an interview the other day, and it just resonates when you said the self limiting beliefs. I said this and it was how I see myself. And it's a reminder. We are who we are, not who we think we are. We are who we are, not who we think we are. And that's kind of been, it just came to me, the dividends kind of in this thing where it's like, I have the same fears.Like I get the gut check. I have the, and I was like, but I have to remember if I eliminate the logic or the thinking, it came to me for a reason call it wisdom, call it intuition, call it flow, call it, source, call it God like you pick your one. There's a reason we're feeling it. There's a reason we have it. And there's a reason it came to us and it didn't come to us because we. Fucking thought it into existence, right? Like that was the exact opposite of what happened. It came. And then we tried to think it out of existence.
So, Melanie, I love that quick reminder. Well, you guys just give everybody a rundown and where they can find you again. Melanie. I'll let you go first and April you come back, clean up.
Melanie: Find us @ www.empactbars.com with any impact to the knee. One day, my goal is that people will see that word and they will forget which way it's spelled.
George: , we need like a radio jingle, right? Like a member of the ones.
Like you still remember the phone number of those tire commercials and those lawyer commercials. So it's E M P A C T bars.com. So it's www.Empactbars.com. And on Instagram, Melanie is documenting a lot of her journey. Impact Women is our private women, only Facebook groups. So find us there Impact Women on Facebook.
April: Ihang out primarily on Facebook and Instagram at Light Beamers, and you can check out our work and some of the things that. An offer out into the world @ wwww.Lightbeaemrs.com, the best place to come, and really tit chat with me, hang out and share your story. And let me put my arms around you and guide you is the light Beamers community on Facebook. It's a private free Facebook group. That's open really to everyone. I do allow men in there, however, You must be able to put up with the feminine energy that exists because we are about 98% female and we make no apologies for that. So I would invite you to come and start sharing your story today and shining that light.
George: I love it. Wellboth of you, thank you so much for sharing this much time with me. Thank you for being on the show. Thank you for sharing your gifts to your light, shining it, being light Beamers or Impactful women.
Pick, pick one, pick your, I dunno. Yeah, yeah. Or both. Yeah. Yes, both. And then we'll get April hooked on the bars and the shakes, especially that shape. What Melanie, what's the name of that shake again?what's the flavor.
Melanie: it's vanilla cinnamon, but we spell the sin. S I N .
George: If you ever wonder, like what Melanie really thinks. You know, she's a sugar addict, go look at some of her Halloween costumes, and then the way that she spells the name of these products and like the Devil is in the details. The devil is in the details. It's been an app. Absolute pleasure guys. Thank you so much for everybody listening. I will see you guys in the next episode. I ain't got any cheeky way to close this one. If I remember to record an outro, I will. If I don't remember that relationships will always be at algorithms